God's voice in his gifts

I'm having trouble sleeping again. Can't seem to get through a night without waking up constantly either by bad dreams or else just waking up for no reason. But the dark scary thoughts always come back.

I'm trying not to notice or dwell on the scariness of the world...of how evil is not hiding anymore. How it's blatantly showing itself through political leaders, or terrorist attacks just down the street from you, or how there are now "Satanist After School Programs" for kids. I don't dwell on it, but I can't ignore it either. It's always there, mocking me.

So I purposely shove it from my mind during the day but it all comes out at night. And I can't help asking, "Where are you, God? When are you going to stop all of this? And how will it happen? Will we all suffer and die the day you remind people that you are still God??"

This morning I went outside to take the dog for a walk, and just for an hour, the sky was blue and beautiful. It has been overcast and rainy for almost two weeks now, but for this short time, it was perfect.

I felt like God was speaking to me through the beauty of the day. Like he had made this morning just for me. It is possible, that God could do that for someone, isn't it? Even if you aren't perfect or holy or maybe even that good of a person. But today, this is how I felt--like God wanted me to take notice of the day, and He was saying:

"Look what I have made for you today! I know you had a rough night's sleep, and You asked me where I was, if I even care...."

 

 

"This is my gift for you today, just for a short time, for more clouds are coming. But for now, this moment, enjoy the beauty of the day. Look how blue the sky is. Feel the soft breeze in the air--I know how much you enjoy wind."

 



 

"I am in nature, I am everywhere. But you have to listen for me, look for me in these gifts. No evil can take it over.

 

I can still make blue skies for you, make the wind caress your face, turn the leaves bright colors against the drabness of world. You just have to look for me."

 

The clouds did come, just an hour later. But for that short hour, I took advantage of the sunshine and beauty. It was the perfect day for just an hour. And for that short time, the world felt perfect too.